It’s been a while but nothing’s really changed. I’m exactly where I left off. That’s confused, spoilt, depressed, unsure, pathetic in the high’s aren’t that high yet the low’s aren’t that low either way. The same issues persist and I continue to embarrass myself easily, not think when I talk and just fail at being a human being (‘the social animal that craves for companionship’) basically.
But spending the whole of today kind of experiencing the same and more made me realise that maybe that wasn’t a big deal.
Especially when I spent the whole day writing, watching TV, texting until it started raining… Going out and getting drenched…smelling, tasting and taking in the dampness and the coldness the rain provided, which I lived for.. Listening to Taylor Swift’s Fearless, my guilty pleasure and watching Sonny With A Chance, another guilty pleasure followed by Friends and chit-chatting till I returned to the unpleasant Bio work I had pending.
It was sort of comforting in a warm, fuzzy predictable way. It wasn’t corny or amazing but it was enough. It is enough. I can live with this.