finding herself.

She was in a tiny little cafe. It was the kind of cafe that looked nondescript from the outside, but had an elegance to it on the inside. She had ordered a slice of chocolate cake that cost twice the amount it weighed, and a cup of Earl Grey Tea. She readjusted her scarf, as she opened her little black book.

It was drizzling outside, and as she traced the outline of a passing cloud, she felt like a cliche.

Her marriage had ended recently. She had flown to this quaint little town, to ‘find herself’. Only, in the midst of her little adventure, she realised finding herself was getting quite expensive. She couldn’t walk around here, making quirky pseudoacquaintances who taught her life lessons, unless she got a job. Since she’d been a student all her life, she did not know what that would be like. But it seemed to involve a lot of responsibility, and she’d rather be a cliche than take responsibility.

Contemplating that maybe, she had found herself after all, she’d decided to leave town the next day.

This was her last day here, sitting by the cafe window, pretending to be engrossed in her work while her thoughts ran wild.

Her deft strokes brought the page to life, and suddenly she was engrossed. She became the sketch, as her tea grew cold. It overtook her self consciousness, as her head was bent over the page, and she colored the eyebrows of the woman in her picture. She could feel the uneasiness in her stomach clear up, as her heart soared with every honest detail- and

and her pencil lead broke.

i used to think

that labels and distance and where i stood mattered.

but does it really?

labels change things, but will it outlast what belies it?

you needn’t be close, or far away, for you to be mine. you are already a part of the way i walk, the way i talk, what i read, what i look for in other people… you are the shadow behind my vigilance, validation for my independence and motivation for further awareness about myself and the world.

we could never see each other againbut the day you stumbled into my line of vision, you became (and will always be) a part of me.