crazy, stupid ****.

His eyes sweep across the room. Her stomach churns, as she looks away- when they are seconds, just seconds away from meeting hers.

And fuck. There is electricity in that almost-gaze.

Time expands and does a back flip as she rushes past the hallway. The bell clangs against the rough, uncouth voices of everyone else. She fills her mind with the clutter she once thought mattered, but her mind is now a sieve.

She doesn’t look back. She doesn’t have to.

 

Crazy, Stupid ****

Advertisements

a quick and earnest THANK YOU

This blog has changed names from that girl to heart shaped lies to Hii’mgonnawhineandrantandbeawesomehere to currently: Life is but a bad imitation of art, and vice versa. Only gets more and more pretentious, eh?

Also, as far as the site design is concerned, I decided it was time for a changeover. I hope you like the new look!

I remember starting this blog in 2009. I was a naive little girl, wanting a place to be herself. From my first ever post in June, 2009 titled hello:

i also feel like a stub as people around me are changing and growing and evolving. i feel lost in the whirlwind of change and the only drama i get is from self-conflict which makes me miss 10th and the old school which makes me wonder how crazy i am. and yes, i make the same mistakes, get bored of things easily but despite everything i’m going through i’m glad that i still love writing as that’s one thing that’s been with me throughout. the sound of my fingers against the keyboard as my thoughts flow…that’s music for me.

between all the mistake-making, tension-induced, ugly stupidity there’s one question i’ve been asking myself over and over again this year. maybe it has something to do with being 16 years old but what felt self-explanatory few years back feels equivalent to the unexplainable- who am i?

it’s stupid that i have no clue. i feel like i’ve always been  wearing different masks unconsciously and now that i’m old enough to catch up with myself, i’m confused at what i see which is nothing.

(…)

maybe someday, when this blog gets filled up and life-changing things just HAPPEN like in the movies, i’ll know.

Since then, this has my space: for word vomit, movie/product/App reviews when I felt like it and a contest entry or two. It has helped me sound out, seen me at my creative-best and worst. But more than that, I’d like to think that somewhere along those entries I did grow and find some part of myself.

To those who follow my blog, whether you’re someone I know In Real Life who stumbled into it, a fellow blogger, a semi-regular commenter or lurker: THANK YOU! There was a time when this blog was private because I couldn’t bear the thought of people I knew in real life stumbling into it. But I think I grew more and more immune to this irrational fear. And as my follower count climbed slowly but steadily, I appreciated it but never expected it to reach 50. Especially when I once went out of my way to hide this space. Wow!

You guys validate what I have to say in startlingly significant ways, whether by Liking, commenting on my posts and/ just the presence of your usernames on the blog’s Followers list.