Deathcabforcutielove.

On a Death Cab for Cutie rebinge.

Why do they have to be so heartbreakingly poignant?

Or plain poignant. “But I know your heart belongs to someone you’ve yet to meet.”

I remember listening to Plans on my way to school. And sneaking peeks of the DCFC Transatlanticism poster in The OC

“And I held you closer than anyone would ever guess.”

“But these wrinkles masterfully disguise the youthful boy alone who turned your way and saw something he was not looking for; both a beginning and an end.”

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#anticlimacticnonsense

What if

You aren’t my crush?

What if you’re just

Validation?

A product of reciprocity

“I’m obsessed with you

Because you care a tiny bit about me.”

Or better yet, White Noise

To bury myself in

Because the silence, it was deafening.

What if, you’re little more than Preoccupation

Because right now,

I need something

To fill the void

Or better yet, a mindless adrenaline rush

Vague, heady, romanticized

Because you dared to get closer

When the lights turned orange.

What if, you’re just a Filler

A forgettable note

Clogging the empty pages

In between chapters

Or worse, some creepy Idealisation

Of what you actually are.

What if you’re nothing like the you

That lives in my head

And eats my thoughts?

What if your sole function

Is making me feel Wanted?

To fill gaps in conversation,

To have something to do.

What if you aren’t my crush?

Sidelines

A sharp, glassy view

With a soundtrack to die for

I can see everything from here,

My hands poised on the rails-

My voice reluctantly trailing away…

But you can’t see me, no.

Your eyes are trained

To seek the center stage.

But this is where I stand-

Away from the curveballs,

The fights, the gravel,

Away from the scathing commentator-

The torment of heckles, backlashes

From rash, rabid rivals.

This is where I stand-

Safe and sound

There, but never around.

Because I’m too cautious,

Too scared, too weak to be a part of the game

But too invested to stay away.

This is who I am-

A silent, frenzied spectator.