what doesn’t kill you

i’m trying to make sense of the world and the patterns bewilder me.

not my life. not just my life.

how does it work?

how does it really work?

do some people get the good stuff and some the bad stuff? or is it like, cumulatively the same amount? like, if you add it all up, everybody’s life has the same amount of ups and downs and it’s only the order and art of composition that differs? in which case if you had a sucky twentieth year, things get brighter at some point later on. right?

how do some people go through so much at the same time? WHY should they?

because they can handle it?

because they can’t?

because they will be able to?

i know they say what kills you makes you stronger. but. she shouldn’t be allowed to handle so much. it’s unreal.