This year

I have gotten way more than I deserve.

I have also been dragged through mud.

I know I’m a highly neurotic person.

I have regressed and cried and broken down into bits and shards of my old self.

I have not given people the attention they deserve.

I have been too preoccupied for my own good.

People have told me things that have made my day.

Words and smiles and unexpected kindness have reduced me to tears.

Kindness is always unexpected.

The universe is yet to let me down.

Every minute, I’ve been made aware of why things worked out the way they did.

Yet every minute, I wonder why.

“Confidence, Cohen” Anna tells Seth Cohen in The OC. If only.

I’m already counting down the days left for the endless stream of tests to come to an end.

I know I don’t want to study psychology.

I don’t know if I can do anything else yet.

But I know I owe it to the people around me who are nothing but helpful to try figure out whatever it is I want to do.

By the end of this year, I would’ve learned so much.

I’ve had fun.

I’ve also been so stressed.

You have to trust yourself before you trust people.

People are nice but it is not their duty to be nice to you. They have other things to do.

I can be incredibly self centered. I don’t think I can be anything else. I’ve tried.

I can’t wait for this year to end. Memories are safe and the anxiety will be gone.

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