poker face, lambert, eliot, new moon, jane gallagher


Just found Daughtry’s Poker Face cover. I can’t stop listening to it! While it’s an acoustic version in a predictably acoustic way, it’s beautiful and the rawness about it gets to you.

Also downloaded Lambert’s album and I really liked Sleepwalker, A Loaded Smile and For Your Entertainment but it isn’t the ZOMFG-ness you’d expect from Adam Lambert who can do no wrong! Still, he’s human and it was a nice debut!

And saw the AMA Performance clip! The interview with Hollywood access after the thing totally made up for the tacky vocals and over-the-top-ness (It was shocking and fun and all that but it was all just so tackily executed and all over the place (vocaaals! :O); at least that’s what I felt. I winced a dozen times) because you just can’t not lurrve that guy, can you? (I can’t. haha)

I’m studying for English as I type and ugh, I’m still in the same poem. I’ll just do a bunch of poems and stories out of the lot and skim through Macbeth, I guess. Sociology was horrible so I’m not exactly motivated. T.S. Eliot has his moments though!

Every time I go to sparknotes, I end up taking one of their quizzes or something and forget what I went there for.

Adam Lambert is so not a Madonna. Not yet, anyway. Maybe a Lady GaGa! It’ll be really cute if they get together (Adam and GaGa)! Who knew Kristin Stewart and Rob Pattinson would? That’s just soo annoyingly perfect, like the Taylors (who have Taylor jokes, I just know)..
X will probably drag me to New Moon and I will be unwilling but secretly okay about it because as annoying as anything Twilight is, I will still watch every Twilight movie. It sucks, but doesn’t suck that bad. If it were less hyped, I would probably want to hype it though, of course, Edward is not hot. And the writing is horrible. But it’s fun time pass.

This post is all over the place but I’m in such a mood. K keeps calling L a jerk it’s funny! It’s obvious she won’t call him ever, but she won’t stop talking about him anyway. He is totally (in her words) her Jane Gallagher. I wish we were tested on The Catcher in the Rye. Pfft. Though that would probably ruin the book.

Okay, I’m done. That felt good. Can’t wait for the exams to end already.

day before the birthday.

the confusion, the blur, fear, hope, the fear of hoping, the weight of being carried, sand, the dampness, the ocean, being dunked, the laughter, the detachment, the wonder infused with the consciousness, laughing it off as the thought process was at a standstill for once as the moment was there.. under my control, and enjoying it was in my hands, the log, the rain, the thunder, the umbrella, walking, talking, laughing in the rain, the ride, the journey, the arrival, the pictures, the hugs, the determined over-the-topness, the departure, shivering as it rained, on the motorbike, the chattering teeth and the shaking hands, getting back home, glowing, with the formation of a memory I will always look back on fondly, and no one can take it away from me, and that’s enough, because it’s all I’ve ever wanted, beyond things and opinions, for this can never be taken away from me.


You remember me, don’t you? Or do you?

Do you know me better than I know me or has the distorted, mutilated image replaced everything? I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s stupid that I should pause and think about it. It’s stupid, I know.

I can see it from your perspective, or can I?

I’d always though people who burned, growled and threatened to fire back because a one or two people said things about them behind their back were just like, overreacting. Now I know it hurts. I’ve never been had people talk about me behind my back. I mean, they do, I guess. But if they have, I haven’t been told about it. Or they really haven’t.

Till today. Yes, it hurts because that person had shared nice, warm, fuzzy moments with me. Made me pour my heart out to her at times. She’d told me things as well.

I was really starting to like this person. I thought, give it a few weeks and we could be really really good friends. Turns out this person has been saying stuff about me to people I don’t even know that well. Stuff like, 1) she’s sly 2) she’s a leech (okay, she didn’t say that but what she said meant that) 3) she pretends to be dumb so that she does really really well and outsmarts people in the end.

Hello, what? I’m not that jobless.

She’s a sly, backstabbing bitch too.

You know, I shouldn’t care, because that doesn’t bother me that much. This is the first time this has happened and there is only one more month for school to end so I don’t care about her or anything. I even feel lucky coz this is the first time and obviously, you have to deal with immature shit like this at least once in a pathetic lifetime.

I see it as a hurdle I’m meant to get past.

The only things that bother me doesn’t concern her. Yes, it’s not about her. 1) Am I sly? 2) Do I act dumb to –(I can’t even complete that outrageous sentence)? 3) Do I just fend for myself? I see nothing wrong in 3) though and 1) is an extension of 3) so I don’t care about that either. I mean, like they are the brave warriors/knights who sacrifice themselves for the good of society all the time.

It’s just broken this wall of trust I had in human beings in general.

"Look at me, I'm the tragic heroine."

I’ll watch you wallow in the misery,
cut yourself so consciously,
I don’t want to.
But you make me.
Oh, you make me.
Your wounds are so subtly seen,
I can see how you willingly bleed
but your tragedy
is not what you think it is.
You revel in you,
and make me revel in you,
Should I watch you
falling into the darkness?
Should it move me?
Does it move you?
I’d rather¬†watch a different movie,
no thank you.
If love had a handbook,
you’d buy it.
If tragedy had a best friend,
you’d be it.
You’re falling,
You’re aware of it.
You like it.

POSTED here but I thought it belongs here as well.

choices. sides. geometry.

Right. Wrong. Black. White.  Circles. Triangles.

These are a few of the things that annoy me. They are HYPOTHETICAL. They are like, not meant to be seen in real life. These function as examples, extremes, so that the intermediate and the vague can be understood in terms of it.

I admire people who can be righteous and I don’t know, save the world or whatever. I just don’t see the point. Who are you saving who from? Nobody’s pure evil. Everybody has motives, feelings, whatever that back them up. To regard something is disregarding the other unless the person chooses to act EXTREMELY -insert negative adjective here-.

But when it’s not about something concrete, something that isn’t going to destroy other somethings, what’s the point? I don’t WANT to choose because I either think both of you aren’t totally horrible or both of you are stupid. I don’t want to.

So.. that’s just what I feel. It’s not wrong.